


just as you are

by scensate



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Crushes, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25739674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scensate/pseuds/scensate
Summary: five times seokmin thinks he feels awkward around wonwoo and one time he realizes what his feelings might actually mean
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 21
Kudos: 148





	just as you are

**Author's Note:**

> insp from 200728 [gamer](https://twitter.com/jaunewonu/status/1288089118136832002?s=20) [bfs](https://twitter.com/sunbaeknims/status/1288069237311848450?s=19)

[1]

Seokmin rooms with Wonwoo for the first time.

It is also the first time that Seokmin considers when you’re put together with twelve vastly different people for work, there are some that you inevitably get along with more than others - and so far, Wonwoo doesn't seem to be one of those few.

With Wonwoo, the atmosphere feels different. 

Seokmin has never been able to put his finger on why, but it doesn't have to be something bad. Except, they're walking through a hotel hallway that stretches on infinitely, alongside a silence that stretches out longer and it definitely feels like a bad thing. 

Perhaps they’re both worn out after a long day of rehearsals, and perhaps Wonwoo isn’t one of many words to begin with. It makes sense that they would be quiet, yet Seokmin finds himself itching to diffuse the tension.

When they reach their room, Seokmin breathes an audible sigh of relief, and Wonwoo gives him an unreadable look.

"Which bed do you want?" asks Wonwoo, turning on the light. The room isn't small by any means, but still Seokmin feels closed in.

Seokmin answers without thinking. "Either is fine. I don't mind."

There's a pause, like Wonwoo doesn't believe him. "Are you sure?"

"Of course. Hyung's pick."

Wonwoo nods and claims the bed near the window (thankfully, because Seokmin prefers being closer to the wall.)

Seokmin puts down his belongings and winces at how sweaty he feels. 

He thinks about bolting to the shower and is halfway through opening his mouth to tell Wonwoo - when he looks over and sees him sitting at the edge of the bed, at work unbuttoning his shirt.

And Wonwoo slips off his shirt in a swift motion while Seokmin looks uselessly and struggles to catch up. It’s not like he’s never seen Wonwoo shirtless, but the air suddenly feels heavier in his lungs. Have his shoulders always been so broad?

It doesn’t register to him that staring at your half-naked co-worker is rude, until Wonwoo clears his throat awkwardly.

“Sorry," he says, looking down. "I just wanted to change my shirt, and I thought it would be okay since we change backstage all the time–”

Seokmin flushes and looks away, suddenly preoccupied with unpacking. “Of course. Sorry, hyung. I didn’t mean to stare.”

“It’s okay,” says Wonwoo softly, even though it definitely should not be okay. There is no justifiable reason for him to openly gape at Wonwoo’s chest within the first few seconds of them sharing a room.

The heat must be spreading evidently across his face. Wonwoo asks, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Seokmin practically squeaks, and almost gives him a thumbs up.

They stare at each other for a prolonged time, and Seokmin wills the world to swallow him whole.

"I'm gonna. Shower. Unless you want to go first."

"Yeah. Go ahead," Wonwoo nods, and offers a small smile. 

Seokmin excuses himself and lets the hot water ease the tension in his bones. It helps a little bit until he realizes that he can’t hide forever.

He decides he will start over. He spends time thinking about everything he wants to know about Wonwoo. The list is surprisingly extensive – favorite home-cooked meal, what he's been reading or listening to, how on earth does he tolerate Soonyoung – and there's no reason he should be nervous to ask. Alright.

Except he comes out of the shower and Wonwoo lays on his side facing the window. He's tucked into the covers, typing away at his phone. A telltale sign to leave him alone.

Even when they say their goodnights, when their backs are turned against each other in the dead of the night, Seokmin feels out of his skin – worries that his rustling is too loud or that he might say something stupid in his sleep.

And it's just Wonwoo, he struggles to remind himself. They've spent plenty of time together, as bandmates and as friends, and there’s nothing wrong being quiet – or openly admiring each other shirtless – sometimes.

Still, his heartbeat does not falter for a long time.

[2]

Wonwoo is having a hard time with recording. He's straining his voice. It's not fair on him because he's been feeling under the weather, but puts the blame on himself anyway.

This is what Jihoon tells Seungcheol, loud enough for everyone else in the dorm to be roped into the matter, too. Seungcheol says something back to Jihoon, pointedly quieter.

Seokmin is no expert at the art of being subtle, nor does he need to be. He wants to help. He wants to know why Seungcheol is leaning down and whispering with so much intent, when suddenly Jihoon makes direct eye contact with Seokmin.

And Seungcheol turns towards him then. “Can you go check on Wonwoo, Seokmin?” he asks.

“Me? Why me?” says Seokmin quickly.

“Well, you already finished your recording,” explains Seungcheol, a little bit taken back.

“Shouldn’t we all go and comfort Wonwoo anyway?” Seokmin says, looking around the room, and means _wouldn’t somebody else be better at this?_

But the remaining members in the room start slowly rattling off their plans – Chan wants to touch up some choreography, Seungcheol needs to call his family, Minghao is going out with Jisoo, and the rest of them apparently just hate Seokmin.

“Is it really that much of a problem to be alone with Wonwoo?” says Minghao, almost out of nowhere. He sounds surprisingly defensive.

"Oh, no," says Seokmin quickly, takes one glance at Minghao and feels horribly guilty. "Of course not. That’s not what I meant.”

His mind unhelpfully supplies him with the last time they were alone together, when Seokmin didn’t stop agonizing over their awkward lack of conversation for days on end. It isn’t something he can explain.

Minghao nods curtly. “You know Wonwoo doesn’t feel comfortable with many people at once. But I know he’d be grateful to see you. You’re good at cheering people up.”

Jihoon chips in. “And I think that you out of everyone would understand how he feels the most.”

And they look at him expectantly, knowing that he’s never been one capable of denying them.

Seokmin shrivels at the attention. He’s good at making people happy. He knows that. It is the very thing that he lives for as Dokyeom, but with Wonwoo – it has always felt different.

Shaking his head, Seokmin distracts himself by first making a short trip to the convenience store to pick up some snacks. He focuses on moving his two feet forward, and nothing more.

When he enters Wonwoo's room, he's met with the sight of narrowed, tired eyes, buried under a heap of blankets. Seokmin knows he wasn’t sleeping, but still feels like an intruder.

“Dokyeom? Did Jihoon send you?” Wonwoo says, voice laced with confusion.

"Maybe. But I’m glad he did," admits Seokmin, thrusting the bag of snacks towards him, and tries to ignore how clammy his hands feel.

"Do I really look that awful?" jokes Wonwoo. He starts rummaging through the bag, and makes a small noise of satisfaction. “How did you know these are my favorites?”

"Lucky guess," says Seokmin, though they both know he keeps detailed notes on all the member's favorites. It's worth it for the smiles that he's rewarded with in return, and Wonwoo's smile is no different.

“You know, I’m not sure if this is what you should be feeding to someone who’s getting sick.”

“Oh no, definitely not," says Seokmin, and Wonwoo shakes his head in amusement. "But if it makes you even a little happier, then I’ve already won. Besides, I’m sure that Mingyu will stuff you with an entire pot of soup and vegetables later.”

Wonwoo laughs, and looks at him with something unfamiliar in his eyes. Seokmin feels shy all of a sudden, and realizes he should say something and he's still standing kind of awkwardly over his bed - when Wonwoo interrupts him.

“Thank you for coming, Dokyeom-ah,” he says sincerely. “But you really don’t have to stay with me. I know I’m not the most exciting company to you.”

"Don't be stupid," says Seokmin, and isn't sure who he's speaking to. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Like I've let everyone down," Wonwoo admits. The sadness in his voice sinks heavily in Seokmin's stomach.

Seokmin realizes at that moment that it isn't right to say that they don't have anything in common. Not when they're working towards the same goal of bringing comfort with their performance, even if it comes at a personal sacrifice. In that respect, Seokmin and Wonwoo are more alike than anyone else. 

He silently curses out Jihoon, because he knows all of them too well.

“Yeah. I know what you mean," Seokmin says, offering a small smile. He invites himself into Wonwoo's room, and sits down at a desk chair. 

Wonwoo takes a long breath. "Jihoon said he wanted to use my part to set the tone. Now I'm holding him and the members up, and I can't do anything about it. I know it's stupid."

"Don't say that," Seokmin says. "It feels like the end of the world when you worry about the rest of us. But then you remember we all love you and might actually end the world if you feel bad for something stupid."

Wonwoo takes a long look at him, until his features soften into a smile. And Seokmin knows that Wonwoo already understands, knows that he doesn’t have to say anything more. That if Wonwoo needs to talk about it again, Seokmin will always be here.

"Let’s forget about our work for a hot second, alright?” Seokmin says. “What movie do you want to watch?"

Wonwoo slowly gives way to a smile. "Usually when you barge into somebody's room and ask them to do something with you," he says, tilting his head teasingly, "you would already have something in mind."

Yeah, Seokmin thinks, but the movie I’ve been wanting to watch is stupid and I am afraid of what you think of my choice in entertainment.

"Yeah," Seokmin says out loud, "but I want to know what you want to watch.”

"I appreciate that, but I know what you want to watch, Seokmin," says Wonwoo, the smile on his face growing bigger. "Everybody knows. You've been saying you wanted to watch it for the past week."

Seokmin turns pink. That sounds like something he would have done. "Oh.”

“Oh,” he repeats mockingly. "So let's watch it together. And I'll tell you what I want to watch next time. Deal?"

Next time. "Deal," Seokmin says, a little breathless.

He sinks further into his chair, and further into the comfort of Wonwoo's presence, and neither of them stop talking into the movie. It feels easier than he ever could have thought.

[3]

Seokmin is nearing the last of his Xcalibur performances. If he's honest with himself, he thinks that he might cry if left alone. He scrolls mindlessly through his past few texts, and tries to recount who he hasn't seen in a while.

He's craving some dak-galbi, and Jihoon knows all of the best places for his favorite. But is today the day where Jihoon was supposed to go to the movies with Jisoo? He can't quite remember.

Or he could ask Hansol to go out, since they usually have similar tastes. He knows this as Hansol has a tendency to steal his kimbap without asking. It is never a bother as Hansol's grin is always brighter when he's fed well. But if Hansol is going, Seungkwan and Chan will end up tagging along too.

A notification rings across his phone screen then, just as he's thinking of completely switching gears and dialling Jeonghan out of comfort.

He squints at his phone screen. A call from Wonwoo, and he squints some more.

“Hi, hyung,” Seokmin answers, a little slowly. “What’s up?”

“Dokyeomie,” says Wonwoo. His voice is warm, and Seokmin tries not to think about how it makes him feel. “You just finished a show, right?”

“Mhm. Second to last one.”

“Congratulations. Are you going to eat with your cast members?”

“Ah, not today. Actually, I was going to ask to eat with one of the members,” he admits, and feels weird that Wonwoo hadn’t crossed his mind, like hanging out with Wonwoo was always something intangible.

"Oh, perfect. Let hyung take you out to dinner to celebrate," says Wonwoo, and Seokmin feels his eyes almost bulge out of his head.

"Again?" Seokmin says, wincing at the surprise in his own voice. "But you already took me out when we went with Seungkwan and Joshua-hyung."

“So what? I'm sure you're hungry again. I know you've been working hard and I want to treat you." His words come out fast.

"Is everyone else at the dorm busy?" says Seokmin, laughing nervously. "Just us?" 

Wonwoo doesn't hesitate. "Yeah. Just us." 

If it were any other member, Seokmin would tease and say something stupid (like on a date?) And he would either get affectionately petted, or maybe slapped.

But his mouth runs dry, and before he knows it, there’s been a long, graceless pause.

“Unless you wanted to eat with somebody else, and that would be completely fine–”

“Nononono,” Seokmin says uselessly.

Somehow he manages to get out a “sure, hyung, let’s eat” and Wonwoo sounds relieved, promising to text him.

The call ends, and Seokmin feels like his heart is bursting out of its chest. He curses at himself silently, because it’s just Wonwoo, and he cannot afford to have his brain malfunction at the thought of spending time with him.

But he meets up with Wonwoo, who's wearing a coat that makes him look smaller, and all of the worries that had manifested in his brain start to dissipate. 

Wonwoo smiles, and Seokmin can't help but smile back, a jittery feeling in his stomach.

They choose one of their mutually favorite places, one that they've been to together with the other members before. It’s perfect. They share some meat and vegetable dishes. Conversation comes easy. Seokmin doesn't know a single thing about video editing but loves watching Wonwoo talk animatedly about it. In turn, he talks about how he's getting better at the guitar, and promises to play for him one day.

Wonwoo gets away with paying for their dinner, as charming as he is, but naturally Seokmin insists on getting dessert. And Wonwoo agrees so easily, his face lighting up in a way that makes Seokmin blush furiously. He chalks up his excitement to Wonwoo's secret sweet tooth and nothing more.

The patbingsu is sweet on his tongue, and he’s in the middle of taking another bite when his phone lights up with a notification.

“Everything okay?” asks Wonwoo. His cheeks are puffed out.

“Sorry, hyung,” apologizes Seokmin, resting his spoon down and fixating on the text. “It’s just one of my sunbaenims from the musical. They’re congratulating me.”

“Yeah?” Wonwoo says patiently.

“Yeah. They said they’re really proud of me.”

Seokmin keeps reading the message over and over. It's from somebody whom he deeply respects, someone that he thanks the stars everyday that he gets to sing with. 

And he’s here with Wonwoo who’s looking at him with a fond expression, and who took him out specifically to celebrate his achievements. Wonwoo, who personally came to his room the night before his first performance to check up on him.

“Well, good,” says Wonwoo. “They should be.”

And Seokmin tries not to make his emotions evident, but Wonwoo catches on immediately, eyes growing comically wide.

“You’re gonna cry,” he says. He suddenly looks like he has no idea what to do with his hands. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, I cry at everything,” wails Seokmin.

"You don't cry like that when I compliment you," Wonwoo says jokingly, and it makes Seokmin hiccup even more because Wonwoo has no idea.

They're still tucked away in the corner of this poor dessert shop. This is so embarrassing, but probably not the worst public space he's ever cried in.

His vision blurs slightly at the edges, and it takes a few seconds to process when Wonwoo comes so close that their shoulders are touching, when Wonwoo uses the edge of his shirtsleeve to wipe at his tears.

"There, there, Seok-ah," says Wonwoo. His low voice sounds so awkward and out of place that Seokmin almost starts laughing, except Wonwoo wraps a steady arm around Seokmin's shoulder and he forgets.

“I’m really happy, I promise. I’m sorry,” Seokmin apologizes again.

“Don’t be. I’m sorry I’m not very good at this,” Wonwoo admits, his voice soft. “But I’d like to be your comfort, if you’d let me be.”

Seokmin thinks he's never going to stop crying, his tears now a weird mixture of gratitude and happiness and longing that he can’t put into words. All he knows is that he feels warm, and safe. He lets himself breathe into Wonwoo’s embrace.

[4]

Seokmin rooms with Wonwoo for the second time.

It's been so long that Seokmin can barely remember the first time they did, back when they were only months into their debut and still navigating the waters. And with so many possible combinations between the thirteen of them, it isn’t unordinary for them to have unlucky draws with each other.

But after coexisting in each other's orbit for so long, they walk in a silence that Seokmin now deciphers as comfortable. Comfortable enough for him to hum songs under his breath and for Wonwoo to listen.

Except, Seokmin closes the door and the air of the secluded hotel room settles over and reminds him that it's only the two of them. They're not surrounded by strangers at a foreign restaurant, by their family at the dorm, or crew members monitoring their move - just Seokmin and Wonwoo.

It's only them and the thought sends a rush of lightning through his body. The logical solution is to jump face first onto the bed, as Wonwoo laughs innocently at him and goes to shower.

Seokmin tries to distract himself by opening up his messages, and sending memes back and forth with Soonyoung. It isn’t particularly helpful, because when Soonyoung finds out that he’s rooming with Wonwoo, he sends a flurry of the laughing emoticons. Seokmin doesn’t have a clue why, and it makes him even more lightheaded.

"Ah, that was a fun concert," says Wonwoo casually, after his shower. His hair is wet and falls messy over his face and Seokmin cannot stop staring. "You tired yet, Seok-ah?"

“A little bit,” Seokmin lies. He’s a little afraid at how red his cheeks might be now.

Wonwoo doesn't seem to notice. He leans over his reflection in the mirror, dressed in a loose tank top and shorts, and applies a generous amount of lotion to his face. Seokmin watches in mesmerization as Wonwoo delicately massages his face. His bare face glows softer, almost prettier after the moisturizer.

He looks cute.

“Oh.” Wonwoo blinks, and pointedly rubs at his neck. “Thank you?”

"Uh huh," Seokmin says, absolutely devastated, because none of that was supposed to be said out loud.

He flips his body over, and hides into the sheets again. Wonwoo doesn't spare him a second glance, just tucks himself into bed.

The five seconds of silence eats away at him, and he rolls back over on the bed. "I don't think I can sleep yet, hyung," Seokmin says, just to say something. "I'm tired, but I still have so much energy."

Wonwoo makes a sad noise. "Do you want to watch something together?"

Seokmin pauses. "Not really. I think I just want to talk to someone," he decides on, because he selfishly wants to hear Wonwoo's voice.

“Oh. Um,” says Wonwoo quietly. "I think Chan and Seungkwan are rooming next door. They'd be good company."

Seokmin frowns. "But I want to talk to you, hyung."

"Oh. What do you want to talk about?”

Wonwoo sounds nervous. Seokmin almost laughs at him fumbling over his words, and realizes fondly that maybe he isn't the only one victimized by social awkwardness.

"Why don't you tell me about what you're reading?"

Wonwoo blinks. "Really?"

"You tell everybody else," pouts Seokmin. "Why wouldn't you talk to me about it? Your favorite dongsaeng?"

"Maybe because my favorite dongsaeng is loud, and never stops talking himself," says Wonwoo, who laughs when Seokmin mocks him with indistinguishable words.

Seokmin gives him another look. His bottom lip juts out and he probably looks ridiculous, but Wonwoo’s expression grows softer. “Here. I’ll read to you. Come closer so I don’t have to yell across the room.”

Seokmin obliges happily. He starts pushing the lone hotel chair towards his direction.

"Hey," Wonwoo says, patting the spot next to him on the bed. He gives a small laugh. "What are you doing? You have to be comfy to get sleepy."

And Seokmin feels his eyes nearly boggle out of his head, grip on the chair uncomfortably tight as he stops in place and can only think Wonwoo is wearing a tank top.

"Or - maybe not?"

"Sorry, hyung," says Seokmin, laughing loudly to hide his misery. “That’s a good idea.”

Seokmin is all too aware of the placement of his limbs as they awkwardly settle on top of the blankets, but Wonwoo doesn't let him get away with it for a second.

He lifts up the covers, saying it's cold otherwise. Seokmin slips under without a thought, following his lead easily. The heat from Wonwoo's body is overwhelming, even when he actively repels any sliver of his skin.

"Thank you," says Seokmin, and feels himself flushing deeply. He prays that the dim lighting is enough to hide the color. Luckily for him, Wonwoo focuses his gaze towards the book.

"I've never read to somebody before," admits Wonwoo nervously.

Seokmin thinks, _I've never wanted somebody to read to me before._ He says, "That's okay. Just pretend like I'm not here."

"I hope you know how impossible that is," says Wonwoo, laughing to himself. Seokmin almost buries his face into the sheets again, but it seems impossible to hide the smile across his face.

Wonwoo starts reading from his previously marked page, but Seokmin doesn't mind. He likes trying to piece together the plot, letting Wonwoo's deep and slow voice take them through the story.

Seokmin thinks his heartbeat must be loud enough to keep both of them awake, and he still can't quite shake the feeling that he's vibrating out of his skin.

But like the draw of gravity, Seokmin falls into Wonwoo's side, inches ever so slightly by the second. Wonwoo indulges him fully, lifts up his bare arm just as slowly until it's resting around his shoulder. It takes a little bit of adjusting, and neither of them really look at each other directly, but eventually they slot together perfectly.

And Seokmin doesn't miss the softness in Wonwoo's voice, the way that his cheeks color, too, and lets himself wonder.

[5]

At the rise of comeback, Seokmin spends so much time talking in interviews that he forgets what he says, where and when and to who. He doesn’t even realize when interviews are published until the fans or even the members react to something he apparently said.

This time it’s Mingyu, a frequent browser of WeVerse, who laughs at him first.

“You said you would lend money to me if I needed? Pay up,” he says, sprawled out like a starfish across their dorm couch. Wonwoo sits upright next to him and unamused.

“Oh, yeah? What do you need money for?” Seokmin says back half-heartedly. His brain unhelpfully fixates on Wonwoo’s fingers combing gently through Mingyu’s hair.

“Well, you also said I could start a business. I could use some funding,” says Mingyu happily. And, well, Seokmin can't deny that.

Wonwoo hums. “I think you’d be good at that. Maybe we could take over PLEDIS together?”

Mingyu also nods in silent agreement, and starts playing with Wonwoo’s fingers back. Their comfort strikes something electric in Seokmin, and he feels almost flustered watching them.

Suddenly Mingyu barks a laugh, and shoves his phone screen in front of Wonwoo’s face. “Hyung, look at this!”

Wonwoo’s fond expression towards Mingyu twists into something more unreadable. He turns this look to an unsuspecting Seokmin.

“You chose me? As the most awkward with you?” Wonwoo says, his laugh slightly strained.

Oh. The memories of the interview come flooding back, as does the sour taste of the words he had spoken. _The atmosphere feels different when it's just the two of us._

“Hyung,” Seokmin whines. “You know it’s not like that!"

“You said it right here!” says Mingyu, oblivious, and his shoulders shake with amusement. This isn’t a laughing matter, Seokmin wants to say, not with the way it makes him feel ugly inside.

"I explained myself after, didn't I?" says Seokmin desperately.

Mingyu snickers. "Not really? You just explained the definition of awkward."

“We’ve lived together for almost five years, and it still feels awkward with me?” says Wonwoo. And though Wonwoo’s face is remarkably unchanged and his tone tries to be light, Seokmin doesn’t miss the way his fingers stop in place.

To make him even more dizzy, a smirking Junhui comes out of nowhere. He makes his presence well known, and leans against the wall with a drink in hand. “Our Dokyeom. Feeling awkward? Is that even possible? Wonwoo, how did you do that?”

Seokmin rushes in and says helplessly, “Hyung didn’t do anything! I had to say someone. It was an interview!"

"I would have simply said nobody," says Mingyu. Which isn't fair, because he wouldn't even be lying. Everybody loves Mingyu.

"I mean, sure, but that's no fun," says Junhui.

"See! I can't just not answer the question!" Seokmin feels himself grow increasingly frantic with every word, and Mingyu and Junhui aren't taking him seriously.

Wonwoo seems to notice the signs of his frustration. “Oh, Seokmin, it's okay,” he says, a touch quieter than usual. “I get why you would choose me."

And Seokmin wants to tell Wonwoo that, no, there is no reason to put himself down over the other members. To tell him that every moment they've shared before was special to him. Wants to grab him by his shirtsleeves and confess on the spot that he is still coming to terms with how he feels with Wonwoo, but he’s learned that awkward isn’t nearly the right word for it.

Instead he stays frozen in place, and the conversation moves too fast for him to thaw out his thoughts.

"I guess we've never really put them together, huh?" comments Junhui. The smugness in his tone mocks Seokmin.

“I guess not. And we all know Wonwoo-hyung gets shy sometimes,” says Mingyu, and Seokmin thinks that he isn't shy with people he's comfortable with. “Especially with cute people, right, hyung?” He pokes at Wonwoo’s side, whose eyes suddenly grow wide.

Junhui and Mingyu share a smug glance, like they know something that Seokmin doesn’t. Wonwoo opens and closes his mouth quickly and turns red under the attention. It drives the wedge deeper into Seokmin's chest, that everybody else may know Wonwoo better than he does.

At that moment, Soonyoung, Seungkwan, and Chan come stumbling through the front door, and they're laughing so loud that their energy immediately dominates the room.

Junhui and Mingyu move on in a blink of an eye and start yelling at the trio for being so annoying, until the room is a loud amalgamation of his bandmates mocking each other.

The conversation from before dispels into the air, and wedges awkwardly into Seokmin’s throat. Wonwoo doesn’t quite meet his eyes for the rest of the night. It is a thought that settles uncomfortably in his stomach.

[+1]

Later that night comes a hesitant knock to his door. It couldn’t be Jeonghan seeking a partner in crime or Jihoon looking for cuddles, because neither of them ever bother to knock.

It shouldn't come as a surprise when Wonwoo stands on the other side, a blanket of unspoken words laying over them.

“You can come in,” Seokmin says. He is relieved, but at the same time so terrified. “Sit with me.”

Wonwoo nods, his body drowning in an oversized tee. He comes to Seokmin’s side on the bed. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else, except he's the one who came to Seokmin in the first place and so his feet stay rooted to the ground. A beat passes.

Then, without meeting his eyes, Wonwoo blurts out, "Do you really think we're awkward together?"

And Seokmin doesn’t know what to say, because as much as he’s agonized over this thought, he still feels incapable of putting labels on his feelings.

"I don't know," breathes Seokmin finally. "I had to say something for the interview and you came to mind. Because sometimes it does feel a little different when there's only the two of us."

“What do you mean different?”

Seokmin thinks.

Different in a way that makes him feel almost shy around Wonwoo, when he is long past caring what anyone on the planet thinks of him.

Different because he feels his every word holds a certain weight. If he says too much, he might reveal himself as the fool he is – yet at the same time, all of his thoughts run unfiltered because he knows Wonwoo will always listen, will always watch fondly over him like the moon does the sun.

“Because if you really feel awkward," starts Wonwoo nervously, "you should tell me.” Even as he’s stammering, his words are careful. “So that I can try to fix it. It wouldn’t be good for the other members or for the fans if there was something off between us.” We have an image to uphold, is what he implies. “And I can stop asking you to do things with me–”

“Stop,” Seokmin mumbles, and Wonwoo does.

He wraps himself under Wonwoo’s arms, so close that his heartbeat must be heard. His chin naturally falls into the warm space between his neck and shoulder.

Wonwoo stays upright, still to the core. Eventually, Seokmin feels his shoulders loosen up, and steady arms snake around his own body. It’s a warmth that almost burns his skin.

It's quiet between them once more but it feels safe. Seokmin lets himself breathe, until words spill themselves out of his mouth.

“Hyung, I want you to keep asking me to do things," confesses Seokmin, "because it feels like a good different with you. I’m just – having a hard time trying to understand it more.”

Wonwoo is quiet. Then, "Good different?"

"Yeah. A really good different," says Seokmin, and watches a smile quirk its way to Wonwoo's lips. It gives him a rush of confidence. "Like, I like dogs but I don't think I would mind raising a house of cats with you, you know?"

"Oh. I'd like that," Wonwoo says, breathless.

And like a physical dam has broken itself in his body, Seokmin doesn't stop. “I think cats make you happy, but I don't think you realize how happy you make the cats back. And I'm sure we could also find a dog that gets along with the cats, too.”

Wonwoo starts laughing quietly and dissolves into a fit of actual giggles. It makes Seokmin dig a huge smile into his shirt too.

Eventually Wonwoo turns his head slightly, so that he catches Seokmin's gaze. The room is dimly lit, but still Seokmin can see the way Wonwoo's cheeks redden.

"You're really cute, you know that?" His eyes are soft, an expression that Seokmin realizes Wonwoo reserves just for him.

"Maybe, but I feel a little dumb. I think I just told you I have a crush on you,” Seokmin pauses just to laugh at himself, “without realizing I had a crush on you."

The words settle over his body warmly and comfortably.

"Then that makes two of us," Wonwoo confesses simply. "Because I think it's always been a good different with you, too." His voice is almost a whisper. And it's all that Seokmin needs to hear back.

Seokmin peers up, and Wonwoo is looking down at him with something so different, something that releases butterflies fluttering throughout his body.

"So," Seokmin starts, and thinks that he might die if Wonwoo doesn't kiss him right now. "Do you think we could figure out what kind of good different it is? Together?"

Wonwoo tilts his head impossibly closer, as a smile slowly blooms across their lips.

–

(Seokmin practically begs the staff to let him do a gaming broadcast with Wonwoo – a quarter out of interest for his favorite games, another quarter to prove all of the other members wrong, and half because Wonwoo looks surprisingly good with a headset.

The broadcast starts and he’s already bouncing in his seat, sinking into the comforting presence of Dokyeom behind the camera. And here with a happy Wonwoo besides him, he thinks he might be virtually invincible.

Seokmin finds that Wonwoo absolutely delights in messing with him, and also that he doesn’t mind it at all. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise when only five minutes into the live, Wonwoo starts teasing about the interview again, a delightful pink glow across his cheeks.

“Aren’t you worried about doing a broadcast with awkward Wonwoo?” Wonwoo lilts, leaning towards him and grinning wide.

“Don't say that! It's not awkward!” says Seokmin, and just knows that Wonwoo is thinking of last night, too. “When the interviewer asked me that, my mind went blank. For some reason I could only think of you."

“Oh? Then maybe it means you’re always thinking of me?”

And there's something in Seokmin's smile that says _you know why I always think of you_. A playful glint in Wonwoo’s eyes that returns _I know you do_.

"You know how much I love you, hyung,” says Seokmin. It wasn't supposed to be spoken out loud, but the words reward him with a satisfying blush from a stuttering Wonwoo.

"Flatter me all you want, but I'm not going to protect you when you're dying in the game."

Seokmin yelps loudly, and doesn't stop being loud and happy and in love.)

**Author's Note:**

> I have been thinking non-stop about these two since their live and so this was more or less a self-indulgent feelings dump!! feel free to say hello on [twitter](https://twitter.com/seokkisses)


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